D Is For Drunk
by Fomorii
Summary: Shigure Sohma was completely and entirely wasted. He was hammered, out of it, juiced, any term to describe several stages above drunk, Shigure was it. One shot, complete.


D is for Drunk

Shigure Sohma was _**not **_drunk. He wasn't, he really, **really **wasn't.

Shigure Sohma was completely and entirely wasted. He was hammered, out of it, juiced, any term to describe several stages above drunk, Shigure was it.

Which might've explained why he'd crashed through the door connecting his study to the kitchen, and was now lying on the floor, giggling away like a child on a sugar high and waving his legs in the air. His inability to be able to get up seemed to amuse him greatly.

After several minutes of trying, and failing, he finally manged to stand, albeit not very firmly, and using the aid of the table to help him, and looked around. Due to the fact that the room was spinning around however, he couldn't really get his bearings. Rooms weren't supposed to move, were they? Or at least, that was what he'd thought. It really was bad manners on the room's part then. He'd have to have words with it later on. An image came wandering into his drunken mind of him telling an uncaring wall off, a picture which sent him off into another laughing fit.

Once he'd managed to get grip on himself somewhat, Shigure realised that he was feeling somewhat hungry. Now, where had Tohru put the remains of their dinner?

After a couple of minutes searching, he'd discovered no food. Which led him to a conclusion. Somebody must've stolen it. He racked what sensible part there was left of his brain, trying to work out where the food could've gone to. The bin? He shuffled over to it, and peered inside. Nope.

However, had he not been so drunk, Shigure would've realised that he was, in fact, peering into the sink, rather than the bin, which had been the intended target. As it was, he did wonder when the bin had grown a plug hole, but then thought nothing of it again.

He resumed his search. Had he been sober, and in his right mind, he would've realised that Tohru had placed the remains of their dinner on the side, just in case any of them felt hungry late at night.

What she hadn't reckoned on was Shigure going out with Ayame and then coming back home drunk as a lord on Bonfire night.

In his drunken bumblings, he managed to crash into, and knock off, a potted plant that Tohru had brought home. Next to follow was the kettle. Shigure found this very much to his liking, and, his mind having now completely forgotten the original reason why he'd come into the kitchen, glanced round for something else he could send flying to the floor.

All this noise, however, had not gone unnoticed. He had, in fact, woken Tohru, whom, upon hearing the bangings and crashings, assumed the worst and thought that they were all going to die. Sound sleeper that she was, the amount of noise he'd been making probably could've awoken someone whom was dead.

So of course, she'd dashed out from her room and was currently running in circles, waving her arms around her head wildly and wailing that the end of the world had come. One of her arms nearly hit a rudely awakened Kyo, who'd stuck his head out to see what was going on, and why the hell was she making so much noise this late at night. It took some time for him to understand what she was going on about, since his mind was still half fogged with sleep.

All this commotion had also woken Yuki up, and, in even more of a sleep haze then Kyo, he also wanted to know why there was so much noise going on out here.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Shigure was blissfully unaware that his nightly rambling had disturbed the three teenagers sleeping upstairs, and was happily dismantling the kettle, sitting on the floor and trying to put it back together again. He'd already done this twice, each time taking it apart after he'd fixed it. Around him lay the other items he'd dislodged, the potted plant, now laying on the cold tiles, the soil having been tipped out, spread on the floor and drawn in by Shigure. Oddly, the drawing seemed to resemble a full figured female with a piece of what looked to be cheese for the head. That was, she didn't have any facial features, and her head was triangular in shape.

He'd also decided that he'd quite like to make a mud pie out of the remaining soil, and so had done just that by pouring a jugful of water on it. Hence why his hands were now very dirty.

He wasn't aware of the other three occupants whom were now standing in the kitchen doorway, staring in utter disbelief at him. Well, Tohru was more in shock, Yuki's feelings were tending towards disgust, while Kyo just stared at him with pure murder in his eyes.

But Shigure was completely blind to them, and continued to wreck havoc on the kettle, laughing every time he managed to put it back together.

"Umm…w-what should we…?"

"I don't think we can do anything, Miss Honda. If any of us tried to interfere, he'd probably latch onto us, and not let go."

"Keh! Stupid dog."

Shigure however, didn't hear any of this, since he'd just passed out, face first into the mud.

And, in the morning, he couldn't quite remember how he'd gotten into the kitchen, where all the mess had come from, or why he had such a bad hangover.

* * *

><p><strong>Notes: <strong>This really has no plot to speak of. It's simply a bit of fun. I've looked it through for mistakes, but if you do spot any, then feel free to point them out.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Fruits Basket.


End file.
